Swimming lessons should be compulsory for all students:
Every kid or young adult at least take 6 hours of their day being in school, and at the end of each day, we’ve all learned something new and has taken it away with us. English, Maths, science, etc. Those are some of the many subjects that help make an impact on us, but what about swimming. Swimming is one subject we should start learning as kids for it can help us all the Future. So, have you thought about making swimming lessons compulsory in school?
The first reason I think it should be compulsory is that swimming might be a sport where kids enjoy it or want to make it their career. and are thinking of becoming more professional at it. This is important because if kids are thinking of using swimming as a goal to get where they want to be in the future, then I say to make it compulsory in school we should help them and make it compulsory; and so, if these kids start doing something at a young age, they would start start to developing in it. When these students get older and they can end up getting a scholarship in college or high school. An example can be my younger self. When I was young I wanted to express my rugby or netball talents as a future representative for New Zealand. Luckily for me, I had the opportunity of playing these sports when I was young and I still do. So because of having that opportunity at a young age, it really helped me to develop and think of using it as my career. There is also one big reason why it should be compulsory, and I’ll explain that in the next paragraph. It’s not just our career the school should be thinking about. They should make it compulsory because it’s really important for you and me, and it is our safety!
Getting into more detail, one reason I consider swimming lessons to be compulsory is that it’s for our safety to keep us from drowning! Many people from all around the world have passed away from drowning, and this includes elderly, adults and young kids; so having swimming lessons can keep many people from drowning and can keep us all safe. Having swimming lessons can really decrease the number of deaths from drowning, or it can make people save other people who are in danger of drowning. When we start to learn something at a young age and carry on learning it throughout the years, it starts to become easier for us and we start developing in that specific subject or sport. This might even decrease the number of deaths from drowning, or it can make people save other people who are in danger/drowning. Hopefully, you understand, if not the next paragraph will sum it up for you.
In conclusion, its a big yes for me when it comes to swimming lessons being compulsory in school. Its all about safety when we’re inside a school or outside of school. When you’re crossing the road, always look left and right, when you’re swimming at the beach, always stay in between the flags, etc. Examples like those have stuck in our heads for a long time because its one of many things that go under the category ‘being safe’, and also because we were taught this when we were in a student kindergarten or primary. When it becomes much easier to swim, then these children or kids will start using it for their future. What do you think, do you think I have persuaded you enough to say yes to this statement.
This is my practice persuasive writing, and the words that are highlighted are the sentences in which I edited after I finished it, and the words with the lines struck through them are what I would delete-after.
I am aiming to improve my writing in the following 3 areas: Ideas, Organisation, and Sentence structure. I will improve my ideas by giving more detail on the way I could explain and I could be using ''Using philosophical(deep) thoughts.'' One way I can improve my organization is that im not just linking it to the next paragraph, but linking it to the outer world, or use "I, you, or we" and compare the idea to a situation I've been in. I would really like to improve my language features by using new language features that I've never used before, such as: Repeating my words, Alliterative writing, humour, and using a Rhetorical question that has depth. One way to improve my sentence structures is by using emotional language so that I can make my argument stronger and also making sure my ideas are being expressed clearly.
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Great job Presayus
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